A Tender Talk with Sienna...
When I met Sienna almost one year ago, I don't think I would have chosen the word tender to describe her. You may remember she proved her self worthy of her spiciness again and again. She still does on occasion! :)
Over time, I would see the most beautiful layers in my daughter. The one that has empathy, and concern. A special quality that only God can place on the heart of a child.
Last night I was putting Sienna to bed. Like it has been so many nights since we came home, she was the last one to fall asleep. It was dark, and we had a beautiful Chinese lullaby playing. Sienna, asked me, "Mom - why do you seem so sad?" As has been my state since Saturday, the tears started quietly flowing down my cheeks, as I told her I missed Caymus. In the quietness of the night, Sienna sensed what was happening.. She wiped my cheeks gently, gave me the biggest hug and said, "Mom - I miss her too, and I am so sorry you are sad."
What happened next was so special... Sienna laid there pondering something, and she asked me if I thought we would see Caymus in Heaven. While I know the Bible does not state there are animals in Heaven, my broken heart chooses to believe she will be there waiting for me. My sensitive girl said, "Do you think my "China Mom" will be in Heaven too. More tears from this Mom.. My response, Sienna do you think your "China Mom" knows God. Her response, "I am not sure. Can we go there someday and tell her?"
I would love nothing more than to take my tender girl back to Hengshan one day to thank the woman who loved her for 4 years. And, for Sienna to explain to her that God has a plan for all of us. And that He brought me to my family so I could learn about him, and one day share it with you. That is my prayer for this precious child.
For now, I give thanks for my little girl who is loving and tender. I give thanks for all she has learned, and for all she has given. And, I give thanks for some of the most beautiful conversations I have ever had when she really should be sleeping.
Lastly, the portrait I have included here is from a gift we received one week ago. Since the day I met Sienna, I was determined to get baby pictures for her. With a lot of prayer, I reached out to her foster mother in a care package that I ordered within China and had it delivered by an angel.... The care package contained a beautiful silk photo album with 20 photos of Sienna and her life here with us, and with Nadi. I included a letter requesting that she share baby pictures if she had them, explaining why this was so important to Sienna. God answered so faithfully... She gave us three special photos of our girl, newborn, age 1 and age 2.. This beautiful photo speaks volumes to me. It portrays a woman who selflessly loved a child she most likely knew she could never keep.
I can not close without thanking all of you for the sweet messages, emails, and phone calls I have received about Caymus. It has been a few rough days for this sensitive heart. Jeff has been checking in on me, and I love him for that. He had to leave yesterday.. I am going to be fine...eventually... Plain and simple, I miss her!
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 48:14
Blessings,
Diana
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21 comments:
WOW! That Miss Sienna is quite a girl. This conversation is just amazing and shows how much the love of your family of the love of God has changed her in such a short time. I knew the moment I met her last summer that she had so many layers and that she was going to do big things in life. She just has this way about her.
How blessed you all are. I have NO doubt you will be making that trip back to China that you and she discussed last night.
Love,
K
What a priceless conversation & such a beautiful spirit in that little girl of yours. I'm praying for your broken heart today. I know how it is to love our furry kids too.
The picture is precious and you must be so grateful to have received it. I know it will mean so much to Miss Sienna one day.
love,
Shauna
I have been reading your blog for a while now and I am not sure if I have left a comment but I felt the need to do so today. I am so very sorry about Caymus. I wanted to let you know about a book called "Dog Heaven" written by Cynthia Rylant. When I was a young girl we had to put one of our dogs to sleep and my mom read this book to my sister and me. It really helped out with the situation and made my sister and me feel a lot better knowing we would see her again in heaven. I hope you can find this book helpful at this sad time. Praying for you in South Carolina.
Callie
Diana,
My heart aches for your loss. When we got home from this past New YEars Camping trip we had to put down our Chocolate Lab down. It was heartwrenching but the boys and I were in the room when they administered the shot and it was peaceful. She was in so much pain and the cancer was bad. I too choose to think that we may see Sadie someday-- we miss her too!! I am so sorry for your loss.
Sienna has an amazing heart and is very intuitive. She no doubt will go back to china and tell her China mom about the Lord. What a treasure the baby pictures are of Sienna. I know how much those mean to you as I felt like I won the lottery when we started getting them of Finley!! You have a very special girl!
Cant belive JEff is in LAguna-- that is about 50 min from our house. Too funny-- well you know he is experiencing nice hot weather here :) Cant say that in a fewdays when we are in Shenyang way up north that we will be able to say the same-- average temp there is about 2 degrees :)
Hugs!!!
Oh that Sienna is just layers and layers of love. I love the wholistic and simplistic way a child approaches lifes most toughest hurdles. That picture is priceless!! Oh what a gift from God that precious girl is as is all your girls. Sending you continued ((((hugs))) to comfort you, Jeff and the girls thru this very difficult and emotional time. Like I mentioned yesterday, our furry friends are family! Caymus was such a beautiful handsome dog and no doubt VERY LOVED part of the family.
First, I am so sorry for your loss. I have no doubt that you will see Caymus again. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes. I so enjoy hearing about your girls, I hope you continue to share with us for many years to come! Have a blessed day.
Diana,
I am so sorry for your loss of Caymus, I know she must have been special! I am an animal lover and my husband is a veterinarian:) Reading your post about Sienna wondering about her dog in heaven made me think of the book I just finished "Is Heaven For Real" by Todd Burpo. It is a beatiful true story. I won't tell you more since I don't want to ruin it for you, it is truly a wonderful book!! Thanks again for helping me with my "project":)
Paige
Hi Diana,
What a sweet post. Your girls are so precious and full of God's love! I have something I would love to send to you if you wouldn't mind sending me your mailing address. If you are comfortable doing so, please send me an email at twirlerebp@aol.com. Thanks over and over for such an inspiring blog. With love, Brooke
this breaks my heart. It is amazing the depth these tender hearts. They comprehend on level far beyond that of most adults.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved family member! Those who are fortunate to have had the UNCONDITIONAL love of an animal know how much a part of our hearts and lives they are! I am shedding a few tears for you over here!
Absolutely beautiful. I've always always thought of Sienna as a very very tender child, she has a beautiful heart.
Every night as bedtime, Lilah and I pray that she'll be saved and that her birthparents will come to know the Lord Jesus too. I simply cannot imagine heaven without them
Praying for you over the loss of your sweet Caymus.
Jill
OMGosh!!! I have tears flowing!! What an amazing conversation with an amazing girl. She is so kind and empathetic...and to notice that you have been sad...and to ask you about it... She is wise beyond her years.
I love that girl.
I love you!
Jen
Magnifique!
Mom I love your post what a conversation. I know we all miss Caymus but it will get easier and I choose to believe we will walk into heaven and Caymus will be waiting for us
Love You
Ainsley
What a beautiful post. I am so sorry about your precious Caymus. We are faced w/a similar situation as our 10 year old lab is declining in health & we know his days are getting fewer.
What a precious heart your daughter has & such compassion.
What a beautiful post!! I have tears in my eyes as I type this. What a beautiful picture you painted of Sienna going back to China one day to share the love of Jesus with her China mom!! Oh.MY.WORD that is just too beautiful!!
You're Sienna is definitely one special girl as are Ruby and the Pearl! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!! It's truly a joy!
What a precious photo of Sienna, and what a precious conversation! Praying that you find comfort after losing Caymus, and also that Sienna does have the opportunity to share God with her "China mom."
Sobbing again. I know that pain so well. But how amazing of Sienna to put all of that together. And I had no idea you could remain in contact with her foster mother. That's so incredible! I can only imagine the album you sent her meant the world. I would think it rare that those foster moms keep in contact with the children after they leave the country. Such a great story!
Such an incredibly beautiful post, Diana...your girl has surprised you from Day 1 and I believe there are many more wonderful surprises up her sleeve!
Hugs for your broken heart......
Dita
That is such a sweet, sweet story. I love how she told you she was so sorry you were sad and that is only from good parenting!!! And thinking about her China mom.....HOW PRECIOUS!!!!
We all pray for thos precious moms (and dads) t0 be there in heaven to meet their AWESOME kids!!!!
WHAT A GIFT to get those pictures. I would LOVE to have some of Hudson....such a huge 2 1/2 year hole!
Hugs to you from TX as you miss your sweet Caymus!!!
What a sweet post!!! So incredibly special to get those photos of your precious baby...and the sweetness of the conversation you two had is priceless!!! You both are SO blessed to have each other to love forever!
Blessings sweet friend!!!
Sweet Sienna -so intuitive to know that you were sad and she wanted to comfort you just like you have comforted her since March. Actions speak louder than words and you have certainly fostered Sienna's compassion. You know how much I love that picture of Sienna and her foster Mom- I am so happy you were able to get a little piece of her past.