Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Thank you!
Just a quick note to thank those of you who sent me comments/emails on ideas to get Ruby to stay in her bed. The "crib tent" seems to be a recurring theme! I am not sure I am ready for that step, but if I try it I will let you know! We have had so many peaks and valleys with Her Rubiness in the past nineteen months in this area. I think the hardest part for me has been the loss of her consistent 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. One thing I do know is that she is not ready to give up her nap yet. By bedtime she is exhausted, which really means over tired. I will admit that she does seem to do better in this area when I am not here to put her to bed. Again, the litter mate!!
Yesterday we attended a 2 year old class that we have been doing since September. For the last 45 minutes of the class I meet with other Mom's and a parent educator. I brought up our latest challenge. In a group of 15 mom's, Ruby is the only 2-3 year old in our class that is easily getting out of her crib, or refusing to stay in her bed... My teacher suggested I try something that gives Ruby control... I tell you this, because it may help some of you down the road... She said give Ruby 2-3 tickets. When/if she gets out of bed it costs her one ticket. If she runs out of tickets there is a consequence like the door is closed, baby gate goes up, so she can't get out of her room.... Well, Jeff was gone last night and Ainsley and I tried this... Unfortunately, it did not work..She definitely understood the plan, and she happily handed over her tickets!!!:) We had lots of tears at the door for about 20 minutes. Finally, I gave up because I was envisioning a nightmare where she is locked in her room... We went into my room, where she finally passed out from shear exhaustion on my bed. I put her in her crib at 9:00 and she slept through the night... Not ideal, but better than 10:00....
One thing I can say, is that Ruby in the past has learned to go to sleep on her own. In fact, we never drew out the bedtime process because it made things harder. I would put her in her bed with, night light, milk, music, prayers, and that would be it. Same with her fabuolous naps...
So, I will take this as a six month growth spurt (she has hit the 2.5 mark) and hope we go back to easy nights soon. When we get there, I will be shouting success from here. In the meantime, I am thinking about calling Officer Wilson for reinforcement!!!!!
Have a great day! I go back to Bible Study today, which I am looking forward to. We have just finished Exodus 33. My New Year's Goal is to hear these words from God, "...I am pleased with you, and I know you by name." Exodus 33:17
Blessings,
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13 comments:
Hi, I have worked in Child care for about 12 years and also babysat for many years before that...From my experience, rewards help...and better yet in a group setting...My suggestion would be a sticker chart for the week and a prize if all stickers are awarded at the end of the week...The catch, I would do this with both Ainsley and Ruby...It looks like she adores her big sister, and if Ainsley gets a sticker in the morning and you make a really big deal about it...Ruby may strive for the sticker as well...Good Luck...Sister Kim, osb
You know my advice is consistency. Kate really did not nap for at least a month when she hit that 2.5 age. Every day was a battle. But I did not give up....I put her down every single day anyway and now she is back to sleeping almost everyday (6 out of 7). I did let her cry in her crib a day or two. I would tell her that it is rest time and she could cry or sleep or look at books but she was staying in her room. She KNOWS by now (almost home 2 years) that I am here and not leaving her at nap time. Kate was never in a crib in China so I know she does not have fears of being left in there all day like some children from China have. She was just being a petulant 2 year old who wanted to play instead of nap.I am not saying that is what is going on with Ruby. Pray about it. You will know what to do for her.
I will add this too...since Kate started sleeping again...She is SO SO SO much better behvaed. Remember when I was blogging about how BAD she was behaving~that was when she stopped napping. Again, I am not saying that is the case with Ruby at all...just sharing my experience.
Be lovingly firm and tough!
Love,
Kim
Diana,
I'm so happy to hear little Ruby and her mom got a good nights sleep. She'll work through this phase and it will pass, although I know how frustrating it is. Especially when we get used to have a sound/easy sleeper, it makes it that much more difficult when they decide to test us. A household is so much happier when everyone is well rested :)Good Luck!
Emily
Oh my...Emily was our little daredevil and she began hopping from her crib at fourteen months to the sound of a tremendous thud - SO.SCARY.
We went the crib tent route, it worked, but she was much younger and I will offer Di, if you need to do anything for her in the middle of the night, the zipper does have the potential to wake said sleeping child up! We used the tent until she was about 2.5 and then it was to a big girl bed.
Hannah finds comfort in her bed, so she is not quite as adventuresome...she even has steps - her big girl bed is pretty high up. She has been sleeping in her big girl bed since June. Emily as the ticket there - she wanted what Em had...so, it was HIGHLY reinforcing for her to sleep the same way Em did. At first we gated her room - small wooden gate at her door to ensure that if she climbed out, she could not go outside her room, we would hear her through the monitor before she went anywhere. She has done very well, but now, we do close her door until she is asleep and then open when we go to bed, closing the gate at the top of the stairs, so she can come to us if she wakes and needs us. Ususally, she just yells for us.
Let us know how things go. Thinking of you:)
Love,
Heather
I completely feel your pain! When we moved our son to a big bed, we looked like an episode off Super Nanny. I bet we took him back to bed 40 times one night! We were persistent and consistent and it paid off. I know Ruby will figure it out soon!
Hi Diana~ We are going through something similar with Robiana--sad to say, for the last 11 months. She is sleeping with us and for the last 2 weeks, even though I put her down no later than 9 pm, at 11 pm (yes, 11 pm) she is still up!!! I have tried positive and sometimes not so nice, reinforcement and NOTHING has worked...stickers, reading more books, tv, earlier bath, late bath, warm milk, water, etc. I talked to her pediatrician yesterday and not even her can tell me exactly what to do. She suggested a little Benadryl, but the few times I have used it in the past--b/c allergies, it did not make her sleepy at all. THIS is driving me/us crazy. She refuses to sleep in her bedroom, and after we set up a small bed by our room and she slept there a few months, it is now in OUR bed!! I have thought of posting on AWAA & Chengdy blogs for months to see what kind of advise I got, but hesitated b/c I was afraid at what kind of responses I would get. But I have run out of ideas and this is consuming our nights!!!!! So, if I might humbly ask for your PRAYERS and anyone who reads this and wants to pray for us too! I hope this is a stage...as I keep telling her than when she's 5 (April 21) she has to go back to her room. I am ***hoping*** this works! Blessings and love, Diana
Hi there we used the crib tent as 3 days after my 14 mth old was home she climbed out of her crib - boom - and came crawling into the kitchen...she loved the tent - I thought the zipper etc would be weird - but we would do the dinner bath prayers bed thing - I told her it was time to take a rest (I used the same words at nap) I told her she had to stay in her bed no talking and no getting up-(she normally fell asleep within a few mins - and yes some night she layed there for an hour-I would ck on her and say you are being a good girl - mommy is going to take a rest too..(we also have always used a sound machine(crickets-again she asks for them..go figure)...like the 3 peanuts - no backing down/no rule changes - firm with love-(yep that means some nights she cried - I would set the timmer on the microwave and add one min each time I went inthere..) Also I do remember sometime around this same age of her strugling to stay up later...it too shall pass. Being a single mom - I like to say it is my way or uhhhhhh - Yes My way.! Good Luck
Carol in sunny FL -where it was 85 today-loving our winter!
Thank you Diana!! I will try your idea...and will let you know how it goes! YOU are also in my prayers! Love, Diana
Hi there! I don't have much advice. I can relate to what you are going through though. My youngest did the same thing. He sleeps so lightly and most nights will still get up in the middle of the night and come in our room. He'll be six on Friday. My other child sleeps like a rock and doesn't fight it!
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I knew the right answer. My only advice is to go with your natural mom-gut feeling about the situation. What's good for one is NOT good for another. My favorite doctor (at my large practice) told me, "Do what YOU think is best. Children do not go to college still drinking breastmilk, sleeping in their parents beds, with a pacifier, and/or in a diaper. Pick and choose your battles." And while sleep is a HUGE battle (one that has an impact on so many things), it's one that only you (and Jeff) can determine what works best for your household.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck with this. Being a mom of two children who were not good sleepers, I know the struggle. Savor the struggle - learn from it. I felt so stressed at times, and tried to keep myself calm thinking - some day, they will want to be dropped off at the corner b/c they are too embarrassed to be with me...so I should enjoy the time while they are obsessed with me.
Once my second hopped out of the crib, we bought a bed that night. She was two years and one month. I figured, if she's getting out anyway, I might as well take less risk of her getting hurt from the fall.
And, I will also say, I am NOT an adoptive mom and I know there must be many other factors that can/may contribute to this. I will repeat - go with your gut - and SUPER SINCERE good luck!
Interesting post... we are having exactly the same issue with Em. She gets up a few times a night and eventually crawls into our bed / floor when we are fast aslee and we don't even realize she is there!!
She did sleep on her own from the time she came home until about six months ago when she was two and a half. We've been on and off ever since... I agree that I probably need to be more conssitent and firm!! And realize that she has come into bed with us!! Dh and I sleep soundly!
I'll try the tickets... maybe that will help. Good luck!!
I saw your comment about the crib tent and wanted to let you know that we use one at our house. My son is 3 already but still in the crib and won't go to sleep unless his tent is zipped closed. I originally got this to keep the toys in the bed as he liked to toss them out before he fell asleep. We kept the tent because it is now part of the routine and Alex loves it, even if he can open it now I think it helps keep him in the crib.
I have been reading your blog for a while now. I also have a 2.5 year old...also adopted from China (Fuzhou). She has given up napping as well. Have you come up with any solutions? Is Ruby (by the way, she is ADORABLE) back to napping?
Mary